Ohmygoodness! I can’t believe that it’s already May!! In 14 days I will have been graduated from high school for 1 year—an entire 365 days!! I find that bit of knowledge equally joyful and horrific. In some ways I feel that I have grown SO much and experienced so many new and wonderful things. Then in another way I feel that I am nowhere close to where I want to be—that I still have way to much left to learn.
But then I remember this: That’s what life is all about. Learning and growing.
Constantly trying to do better. To be more like Jesus. To reflect Him in every moment of every day. I have made so many changes in the last year some good, some bad. Some that I have managed to stick with, others that I’m lucky if I can stick to the change for a day.
I’m currently trying to define exactly what it is that I want to do, how much I’m willing to pay, and what sacrifices I’m willing to make.
Where exactly I want my dream to go, how far I want to go with it and most importantly where God wants all of this to go; where He wants me to go.
I’m learning about where it is that I am weak and how to remember that He is stronger in my weakness. I’m learning (very slowly) that it’s okay to be different. That God calls us to be different, to stand out from the crowd. He wants us to know that following Him will lead us to live radically different lives than those we know who don’t follow Him. And that that’s okay.
I’m learning that I have to follow Him even when I’m completely scared out of my wits. Even when I have way more questions than answers. Yes, even when I want to scream that all of this is crazy and I’m the biggest nut in the bag to even think that I can attempt this. I have to remember that God had all of this planned since before the earth was even created. I have to remember that God’s got this. That because He holds the world in His hands He is more than able to hold my heart and brain and all the problems that come along with being a human in this extremely messy world AND the best part is that He doesn’t just hold me and tell me that it’s going to be okay He shows me in every page of His word and guides me by the hand through this crazy wonderful thing called life. I have to remember that.
I have to remember to trust Him and lean on Him in everything.
Until next time,
** This post was originally written on 5/2/16 and edited on 9/14/16.**