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When it Won’t Move, Go Through!

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This post is one that I spent weeks thinking and praying about. I’ve debated on sharing this because I don’t want to cause unnecessary division. I believe that my purpose here is to encourage you by sharing the lessons I’m learning. I am in no way, shape, or form trying to make a political statement. Any and all political comments and talking points from EITHER SIDE will be deleted, no questions asked. This blog is NOT the place for political debates.

One of the biggest struggles that I’ve had this past year and half has been the mask and mask mandates. To be honest, I find them very uncomfortable. I have a small face and often the mask covers more than just my mouth and nose. If I look down, the mask slips up to just below my eyes making it hard to see. Finding a mask that fits me, I can breathe in, and talk in, is hard.

I have glasses and like to wear hats. However, wearing glasses and a mask is challenging enough because the glasses fog up making it even harder to see. Adding a hat to the mix almost blinds me. The hat slips down, the mask moves up and I can’t see a thing. So, I quit wearing hats for a while. Letting them sit on their hooks praying for the day life could “go back to normal”.

More than the physical challenges of wearing a mask is the mental toll it takes on me.

I don’t like seeing SO many people wearing them. It’s a reminder of how different things are right now. I miss seeing other people’s facial expressions, and smiles. I miss being able to hug people, to be close to others. Frankly, I just miss people. I can’t count the times that I’ve cried simply because I miss being around people.

I wanted to become a hermit and avoided going out in public. It was just too much. One more reminder that life was crazy and uncertain with no end in sight. A lot of last year I was lucky if I left the house more than once a month. I love my family, don’t get me wrong.  But between working from home, the shutdown, social distancing, and living at home I rarely ever went out in public. I truly had no need to, especially last Fall and Winter. Out of others concerns our family worshipped from home from the middle of October until Easter Sunday.

I was a little worried going back after being away so long. Would we be judged because we didn’t go? Would people think of us poorly based on our actions? Or would it be like seeing family for the holidays? Could we be welcomed back with open arms?

I realized that if I pulled the sides of my hair back and wore contacts I could wear a hat and still be able to see with a mask!! (:

That Sunday afternoon as I was getting ready, I somehow came across Jason Gray’s song Through and it all made sense. Yes, I’d rather be a hermit because it’s uncomfortable. But right now, there’s no way around it. I can either walk through it or avoid it. If I avoid it, I just make myself more miserable.

“I need You to lead me through
There’s no getting over it or going around it
When the mountain won’t move

I need You to lead me through
Walking before me, behind and beside me
I’m following You
The only way out is if You lead me through…”
~Jason Gray “Through”

Easter Sunday we were welcomed back at Church with open arms. I can’t tell you how happy and energized I was after being around people for an hour or two. I still don’t like wearing the mask and I hope and pray daily that this comes to an end sooner rather later. But in the meantime, He’s helping me through the challenges and growing my faith and trust at the same time.

 “And the Lord said to Moses, “Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to go forward. But lift up your rod, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it. And the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea.”   (Exodus 14:15-16).

I’ve learned that more often than not God doesn’t remove the problems in our path; instead, He gives us what we need to get through them. I’ve seen that play out a lot this past year.

God has been helping me all along, providing just what I need just when I need it.  Last November I worked the polls for the election and had to wear a mask all day. I was worried because I hadn’t done that before. The longest I was ever in a mask was an hour or two. But I went. I wore the mask, and I was surprised at how “easy” it was. Was it awkward? Yes. But I did it and it wasn’t as bad as I feared it could be.

Just a few weeks ago we went to Hobby Lobby, the first time in a LONG time. I was tired and the mask was more annoying than usual that day. Yet, we ran into a friend and were able to visit a few minutes in the isle just laughing and talking.

I’m finding that God is helping me, gently guiding me through this crazy time in our world one day at a time. In little ways, little changes, little lessons, and little reminders. Showing me that He is here, He is in control, He has a plan, and He truly cares about me and what is bothering me.

A lot of life doesn’t make sense right now, but maybe it never really has we just thought it did.

The false sense of control that I comforted myself with came crashing down in 2020. In its place I was given a choice. Quit fighting God and wearing myself out or continue to fight God and be worn physically, mentally, and emotionally. A year into this battle and I can’t say I’ve quit fighting God on anything. But I’m learning a lot about God and the TRUTH that is in HIS WORD.

In more ways than I could explain today, the blog and my purpose here was changed because of 2020. I had become very complacent in multiple areas of my life—especially my faith. 2020 showed me that I knew the Bible and what God expected. I knew all the right “good Christian answers”. I could talk the talk, but I hadn’t yet lived through anything that really forced me the live out my faith.

Until 2020.

2020 has allowed me the ability to LIVE out what it is I write on this blog. To find the good and learn to be content with the life that God has given me. And I’m finding that amid the fear and frustration God and His plans are good. He never promises smooth sailing, but He does promise to be with us no matter how rough the waters. And maybe, that’s the gift we needed to see all along…

Until next time,
Bailey Sue